Why men cannot stop telling lies

By: Esther Mumbua
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[ Posted On: 2006-10-15 ]

When several men were asked why their gender was notorious for lying, they heatedly retorted that women were worse.

Debate still rages on which of the sexes is the bigger liar. It is argued that men appear as the bigger liars because they do it like amateurs while women do it like professionals.

Men are so witless that they will insist on a lie even after they have been caught. Because of this, they break more hearts and make women cry, thus ending up being branded the evil ones.

Former US President Abraham Lincoln said: "No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar."

And Helen Rowland, an American journalist, quipped: "Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man."

Someone said the permanent solution to stop men from lying is to cut out their tongues.

And they know how to weave lies. They will lie about their marital status, their jobs, their property, the size of their bank accounts, their relatives and even their ancestry.

A man will lie that his father is a retired executive with a palatial home only for you to discover that he hails from a humbler home than yours. If he was to take you out, his phone goes off mysteriously only for him to call later informing you that it rained at his place. Sounds familiar?

Men do not only lie to women but they will also lie to each other with impunity about everything under the sun, especially their sexual escapades.

No wonder, someone, argued, they choose careers that involve lying: politics, law, insurance, plastic surgery among others.

Mark Oloo, 33, when asked whether he lies says bluntly: "I am a cheat, not a liar."

He says self-righteously that ‘lie’ is a very "strong word" and can dent his image. He clarifies that when you are a liar, you are dishonest in other dealings involving money, your job and so on. But he admits that cheating is a game he enjoys.

"Most women are dishonest, and I only give them a dose of their own medicine," he smirks.

Oloo says most are after a man’s wealth and will give you the boot once they realise your account balance is not anything worth writing home about.

He adds that women’s mode of dressing and grooming is a faÁade carefully crafted to entrap men. "The false hair, nails, cake of makeup, wonder bras and high heels, give a false image, making the woman’s whole appearance a lie."

Milkah Njeri admits that women lie but they hurt less people. They are "considerate" and will carefully craft their lie to sound like a truth. "That way, no one gets hurt. Remember that what you don’t know cannot hurt you," she says.

Njeri says a woman can go to the grave with a lie. She attributes this secretiveness to societal norms which expect a woman to be honest, while a man gets away with a mere slap on the wrist. A woman will never reveal that she had an abortion at 18, and she would rather face a firing squad than admit that she has been there and overdone that. Women are also famed for lying about their payslips and age.

Eric Nyachon says single women who have children hide it from their lovers until the moment of going to the altar.

Eric adds that city women have taken their street smartness to another level.

"They keep several men, whom they play with amazing success. One is for paying rent, another for taking her out, another for buying lunch and another for buying scratch cards," he says.

Anthony Mwang’ombe says men have to make their stories more interesting to satisfy their ego.

"Sometimes it is the little boy in them," he says.

Those Spiderman tales they weave in their childhood turn them into master liars. By adulthood, they can weave tall yarns.

Mwang’ombe says men can make Sherlock Holmes look like an amateur if they want to investigate a woman they are after.

"Maybe he learnt that the woman prefers rich classy men, and you are just an average guy struggling to earn a living. So you lie because this is the only way to get her," he says.

Mwang’ombe says men look for short-term benefits, especially sex, and do not think of the consequences of their lies. "A man’s view of love is action-driven rather than emotion-driven. If he lies, the consequences of his actions are not on his mind," he says. Another reason that compels men to lie is low self-esteem. "Men use lies to cover up their failures or mistakes. By lying, they are compensating for what they do not have or what they have never achieved," he notes.

David Njiru refutes the claim that men lie. "We do not tell everything. All we do is withhold information from those we love."

Njiru says it is also a survival tactic. "We exaggerate to get what we want. We have to be on the same level or higher than our rivals."

Trevor Onyango attributes lying to peer pressure. "If my rival is driving a BMW, I have to quote an equally posh car so the woman can feel comfortable in my company," he says.

Daniel Muli says women have very high expectations of their men and they cannot handle the truth. "They want to hear that a guy is driving, has worthwhile investments and has never had a girlfriend. Who are we to let her down?"

Muli also attributes it to pure lust. "A woman as beautiful as sin flashes you a smile and your world stops. At that moment, you don’t care whether you are married or not . You want her irrespective of what you have to say," he says rolling his eyes heavenward. Muli says men are aware that most women are not interested in guys who will not be there for them, and they lie because they do not want to be emotionally available.

Asked if he would lie over and over again, Steve Macharia says: "Sometimes the guilt is exciting and has nothing to do with the woman even though it seems that way."

Psychologists say men lie when faced with a crisis. They find it difficult to come to grips with the painful reality of failure so they lie as a form of escapism. Researchers have also found that people who always tell the truth regardless of the outcome have difficult social lives.

So, men lie as easily as they breathe. But it is worth noting that not all lie. There are a few good ones out there but the number is negligible.

Article Source: http://www.afroarticles.com/article-dashboard

About The Author:

Esther Mumbua
Published - October 7, 2006

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