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Kenya urgently needs a tough sexual offences law

By: Jerry Okungu

[ Posted On: 2006-05-03 ]

It is 7 pm in the evening. I am sitting in my living room waiting for supper time, whiling away watching news on local television stations. As is the habit with most Kenyans these days, I keep fiddling with my remote control surfing the local stations hip-hopping from one station to another, looking for the best news package. To my disgust, here they are again! They are as disgusting and as horrifying as they can be. The sheer amount of violence makes the faint-hearted want to throw up.

Then the bombshell is finally dropped! Another rape victim is displayed on our screens. A two-year old girl, an eight-year old standard three girl, a sixteen-year old High School student, a six-month old baby and an 86-year old grand mother! These are the victims of rape that have become the usual diet on our screens. We see them all the times, little legs walking unsteadily on our screens or helpless little limbs lying in hospital beds, drawing tears from their saviours and women MPs alike.

When I see these pictures, I feel traumatized for these helpless victims that our society has failed to protect. I feel traumatized because deep inside me I know they were physically overpowered by these dogs and beasts that we have permitted to walk freely in our midst. I see them confronted by these potential butchers and murderers with dagger in hand ready to either have their way, quench their lust for sex on strangers, close relatives or family friends, and infect them with all manner of diseases including HIV and Aids or face instant violent death. On pain of death, these children and the aged are raped, maimed and psychologically devastated for the rest of their lives.

When I see these victims, I don't see them as strangers. I see my beloved daughters and sisters, I see my mother and my wife, my grand mother or any of those women I have lived with in my village for decades, being hurt and haunted for the rest of their lives. What ever the case, I feel very close to these helpless victims, so close that had I to be there for them at that point in time, when one of these thugs had pinned one of them down, I would not hesitate to mete out instant justice. I would commit murder on their behalf. This is how much I feel for these vulnerable and helpless victims of our society.

There have been many arguments for or against this Bill in the press. The one that caught my attention was by a lady who argued that those who rape do so because they are sexually starved, because they are poor members of our society. The lady asserted that all the good sex has been monopolized by the wealthy and the affluent, that the poor must resort to brute force to meet their basic sexual needs.

Fair enough, however, can this society in the same vein allow the very poor people to go free when they steal to survive? Can this society allow the poor of our society to rob banks so that they can clothe, feed and take their children to school?

My friend Paddy Ahenda, the new MP for Kasipul - Kabondo thinks that this Bill is not good because it will stop men from wooing their potential wives.

With due respect to the honourable Member of Parliament, it would appear like Paddy Ahenda is stuck in the past. That joke about an African woman being unable to say yes to a man's advances; I suspect I must have heard it way back in the 1960s when I was in Primary Six, over thirty years ago. My class teacher, the late Obingo used to explain it this way when he wanted to make his point that politicians were unreliable.

He used to explain to us the differences between politicians and girls. His analogy went like this:

When a politician says yes, he means probably.
When he says probably, he means no.
But he will never, ever say no!

When a girl says no, she means probably
When she says probably, she means yes.
But she will never ever say yes!

His point was simple. In real life politicians were all liars. They would accept every request from their constituents with no intention of fulfilling a single one of them. They would rather get away from the crowd by promising to do everything the crowd demanded, knowing fully well that they would not fulfil such promises.

On the other hand, it was in the nature of women, especially unmarried girls to not directly say yes to every Tom Dick and Harry that came along. In giving piecemeal hints of a girl's interest in a man, she bought time to determine the character of the man after her. The more the man persisted the more she warmed up to him, slowly getting convinced that the man was damn serious about the relationship.

However in today's world, Paddy Ahenda must realize that his daughter will never go through the nonsense that his wife and mother went through; waiting to be waylaid and forcefully pulled to her matrimonial home! In today's world the hunter has become the hunted. Those days are gone when men were men and women loved them that way. In today's world, women seduce men, give them gifts and even have them for keeps. If the truth be told, there are thousands of young men in Kenya who either have no proper jobs or earn incomes far below their spouses. These men are mere dependants on their spouses' earnings. I know at least three men in Nairobi that are described as house- husbands by their spouses. They sit at home all day, baby sitting and cooking, waiting for their wives to come home.

To illustrate further that times have changed, there are rampant cases in Nairobi alone where women have chased their husbands from matrimonial homes when they have been found to be wanting on all fronts. In situations where a man cannot pay rent, bills, and school fees or put food on the table, even the most adoring of wives has said enough is enough. In the final analysis the woman comes to the realization that the only thing he can do and unsatisfactorily at times is to give her some sexual pleasure; something she can still get else where with measurable high degree of success.

In days gone by when Paddy Ahenda pulled his wife- the wife who never said yes to him, sex for pleasure was unheard of among women. To the African woman, every sexual encounter was a painful rape whether outside or inside marriage.

The woman was forced to have sex at the man's convenience whether she was sick or not. She didn't have to have desire for sex. All that was necessary was for the man to be aroused for whatever reason. Because of this aggression, women learnt to fight and use every trick under the sun to deny the man his satisfaction. In the end, men resorted in some communities to go sex stealing from girls at night. This sex theft was known as ong'ora among the Luo community, when young men would sneak into the grandma's house under the cover of darkness and try to have sex while village girls snored.

In exceptional situations, some conniving thieves succeeded if they had prior arrangements with one of the girls. However, more often than not, the old grandma, who hardly slept a wink would catch them red-handed and thwart their missions culminating in a commotion and yelling by the entire household. In such situations the culprits would take to their heels because being caught would be disaster for the rest of their lives.

Let our MPs accept one fact; we cannot kill this Bill because of our past cultural practices which we ourselves have discarded. The truth is we have a serious problem in society. Young lives are being destroyed for lack of an appropriate law to deal with the problem. We have no reason to justify the death of a Bill that seeks to protect infants, children and the aged from barbaric sexual attacks. In this society the strong must provide security for the weak if we have to remain civilized.

Njoki Ndung'u may not be the perfect champion to take the bull by the horns but at least she has been daring enough to show us the way. The least we can do is to join her in this crusade and make the law even better. It is silly and cheap to bring in NGO politics in to the Bill. This Bill seeks to protect all our daughters, wives, mothers and sisters. When one of them is brutally violated, we all feel painfully dehumanized.

Article Source: http://www.afroarticles.com/article-dashboard

About The Author:

Jerry Okungu is a freelance political analyst based in Nairobi, Kenya. Jerry also serves as a Board Director at The Kenya Broadcasting Corporation. Jerry has written extensively on issues affecting Kenya and the rest of Africa over the years. He can be reached at Jerryokungu[at]hotmail.com. Other articles written by Jerry Okungu are available at this location

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