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An African Child Is Very Sexually Sophisticated At An Early Age

[ Posted On: 2006-05-12 ]

Everything that happened to us in the early years of our lives, every touch received, every reaction we felt to our sexuality is remembered in our subconscious minds. This early modes of sexual and erotic transference and learning in our early child life shapes our attitudes, beliefs and behaviours. Even the way we “talk about sex” is shaped by our experiences that mimic "grown up" sexual styles, family and traditional erotic cultures.

In the teachings of traditional African cultures, we're all essentially spirits who have come down into the world to experience a physical existence. A life on earth lived with a conscious effort to experience the fusion of spirit and physical is a life well lived. The sexual act itself is a beautiful thing because it whets our appetite for creating and experiencing life physically and spiritually. Every time we have sex there is a potential for a child to be conceived, a potential for a spirit soul to come down from the spirit world of souls into this physical world. Every time we have sex we master the techniques of increasing love for one another, of sharing it, of celebrating life on its own terms.

African erotic culture is therefore centered on experiencing sexual pleasure as often as is possible not on abstaining from it. More over the African understanding of abstinence is not that of “no sexual contact or pleasure” but that of “no sexual penetration”. Sexual abstinence is not the same as “chastity” in which an individual chooses to deliberately abstain from any physical sexual pleasure or expression of sexual desire for religious purposes. Also an individual can enter a “sex fast’ which is a selective kind of sexual abstinence in which one withdraws or withholds from certain sexual practices in order to heighten particular senses in order to complete a task or undertaking.

In many traditional societies, within weeks after birth, African mothers begin the preparation of their children into adolescent and adult sex life. So developed are African sexual socialization patterns that some have said they’re probably the most highly developed in the world. In many cultures, African mothers and grandmothers massage girls' genitalia during infancy and girlhood. This massage is sometimes accompanied by stretching of the clitoris during the daily bath to elongate them. For boy infants, the foreskin is pulled back and cleaned at bathing and his penis and testicles teased and gently massaged. Traditionally, Africans believe that children experience a certain level of sexual pleasure. This can happen any time the child’s genitals are touched intentionally or by rubbing against piece of clothing the child is wearing or any other accidental rubbing. Many have beliefs about “restricting’ natural growth of genitals by using diapers and any other clothing than can get too warm and too moist.

African mothers also believe that children can experience levels of sexual pleasure during breastfeeding indicated by laughing, showing a heightened level of excitement and mimicking adult sexual behaviour. Infant boys sometimes get an erection while breastfeeding, try to crab their penises and also cross and uncross their legs. Girls on the other hand become restless, kick their legs open while trying to reach for their sexual parts or rub their thighs together. African mothers do not ignore these child behaviours but instead softly massage the baby’s back, arms, scalp etc until the baby is relaxed and calm. And when the baby cries out to be fed, African mothers do not check the clock to see if it’s feeding time but respond to the child’s needs because they understand that breastfeeding is not only about feeling a physical hunger but an emotional one as well. As African children grow up and engage in sexual relationships they are more accepting of their sexual feelings and desires.

Furthermore, African parents teach their children about sex starting from the age of six to eight when the child is believed to be able to understand deeper meanings. This is not the Western typical “birds and bees” biology lesson thing nor is it “honey, it’s time we talk about sex” either. The African way is more about the responsibility that goes along with certain sensations and sexual behaviours.

Traditionally, African parents do not set a time aside to teach their children about sex, instead they observe a child’s sexual behaviour and instruct the child at the time the behaviour is happening. Children run around naked until they are 7 or 8 years old. Many African parents do not prevent them from self-touching, caressing parts of the body, including the sexual organs - this offends no one. In many cultures, boys from the ages of six gather surreptitiously in the bush for masturbation contests. Girls their age, hide behind the bushes and watch the boys who are unaware that they are being watched. The winner is the boy who ejaculated first. African mothers have also been known to encourage their sons to masturbate just to make sure everything is working properly or “spitting fire’ as is known in some cultures. I presume this is a reference to volcanoes or something.

Self-touching or caressing sexual organs are considered learning experiences that help the individual understand his or her body and incorporate sexuality as an integral part of his or her personality. Through the parents' responses, the child learns to trust his or her own body and the biological and emotional urges and sensations that go with it.

Then there are the traditional genres such as folklore, riddles and proverbs. The use of riddles is one of the outspoken verbal expressions of eroticism in African cultures. Sexual riddles are favoured by both adults and children and abound in every culture, language and dialect. Each ethnic group has its own large store of sexual riddles, proverbs and sayings which are an important aspect of daily speech.

Many African sexual riddles arouse erotic fantasies without actually mentioning a single improper word. When sexual riddles are presented to children aged 5-10, they are presented at the level of childlike humour, and more as daring entertainment. When presented by children, it’s their way of showing off to adults and their peers just how much they know about the subject in question.

The most common sexual riddles are ones in which sexual organs are disguised as everyday objects deliberately presented in an ambiguous manner. For example “what is it a man does standing, a woman bending, and a dog on three legs”? An innocent answer could be “pass urine” or “shake hands” but because of the manner in which the riddle is presented many children are aware that there could be another answer. Another example is “Why would a man use his most precious walking stick instead of his hand to get the honey from the honey pot?” An innocent answer could be “the pot’s opening is too narrow for his hand” or “the pot is too deep the hand can’t reach the bottom” but many children are aware that “stick” refers to something else - after all who uses walking sticks to touch food.

The appeal of riddles lies in their double meaning and unexpected surprise element. The multiplicity of answers, double-meaning and use of imagery is the key appeal of a sexual riddle. If the riddle describes things too graphically, it instantly losses its appeal; and an answer that is given quite frankly as either sexual intercourse or the male or female sexual organs is regarded coarse, contrived and unimaginative. A person who constantly answers riddles in a graphic and explicit manner is looked on either as a sexual pervert of some kind or “has lose wiring in the head,” meaning mentally unstable. And both adults and children avoid sexual conversations with such people.

Riddles of a sexual explicit nature are mostly used by adults in very intimate sexual relationships and even then, used only in very specific situations such as to cause a sexual partner to smile or laugh after a fight or simply to arouse erotic fantasies. Some couples have their own sexual riddles with which they can safely talk about sex or “trigger words” with which they engage in sexual teasing without those around understanding what is being communicated between the couple - most of the time these are ordinary everyday verbs, nouns, names and objects.

In addition to folklore, riddles and proverbs, African children also observe flocks and herds and many overhear their parents or other adults involved in sexual activity. Until the child is 7 or 8 years old, many African children sleep beside their parents. Most adults pretend that their children are asleep when they have sexual intercourse, but many of them recall overhearing or witnessing sexual acts as children themselves.

Given that the African child's environment is rich with people, animals, personal interactions and experiences, the African child incorporates the way of things and the facts of life through observation, imitation and personal trial and error rather than theories of purely academic pursuits. The result is that an African child is very sexually sophisticated at an early age. An African child thus when asked about sex will reply, "I have always known".

Sadly, the reality in much of Africa is that traditional practices are rapidly being replaced by "modern" practices mainly copied from the West. Many Westernized African parents most living in cities and urban areas (or abroad) assume that their children are born with no concept of sex or sexuality. They’re alarmed when a child shows sexual tendencies or “bad habits” saying it is a form of self-abuse and a habit that has to be broken. They intrude their anxious moralizing into the most intimate biological, emotional and spiritual processes of their children in order to curb possible sources of sexual excitation or masturbatory impulses. African parents have even adopted Western cultures' strict sleeping regimens often referred to “the nice way to go to sleep” that do not allow children to sleep naked, lie together in bed or be in bed long before falling asleep. Children quickly learn not to touch their sexual parts and end up masturbating in solitude and always feeling a deep shame about it.

Contemporary or “modern” African societies have also adopted the culture of "passing the buck" with regard to the social institutions that ought to take care of our children and undertake sexual education in the child’s early years of development. The family passes the responsibility to the school the school to the church, and the church passes it back to the family. In the end, the child gets no proper instruction. Even when sexual education is taught at pre-school or kindergarten, the importance of kinetic manifestation is diminished, undervalued, perhaps not even taught.

The “modern” early childhood education does not permit for sexual exploration because adults unconsciously censor children’s sexual vocabularies and reproduce them in disfigured clinical terms (i.e. birds and bees), terms that refer to sex as merely a biological need and are void of any reference to emotions and body sensations. Today, many children in Africa as in Western cultures know that they shouldn’t engage in certain sexual behaviours, a few of them know why, but a majority don’t know what to do with the sensations they experience in their bodies or day dreaming about. And as they become adults, these become their adult struggles as well.

When sexuality is perceived and/or presented as a purely cognitive endeavour, in a purely linguistic domain, a devastating and a destructive cycle is created: authentic expression is crushed and self-esteem and self-perception is distorted. The more distorted the self perception the more vulnerable the child becomes. Street kids, child-headed families, single-parent children, child prostitutes, child pornography, housegirls, houseboys, these are not part of our traditional African cultures. When did it become an African thing to rape a child let alone a baby? When did we transition from it takes a village to raise a child to a child is no longer safe in the village? If we can not recognize that in traditional African cultures this is unacceptable then we are completely lost as a race, doomed to obliteration.

Traditional African cultures require that members of the community have a responsibility to intervene when children are being hurt – that is why it takes a village to raise a child. We should not accept inhumane treatment of children in the name of “modernization” and the ills that comes with it. We only have to look at how organized and "developed" child pornography and pedophiles rackets are in the Western and so-called moden societies - that's where we are headed!! Full speed!!!

Article Source: http://www.afroarticles.com/article-dashboard

About Author:

Christine Akiteng is Sexual Confidence Expert and Dating Coach committed to trying to sort out quality sex information in the media and restoring the ability of sexuality and physical eroticism to contribute to the fullness of life. Christine’s website: www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com

| View Profile & All Articles By: Christine Akiteng |

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